Have you ever felt lost? Like everything just feels wrong and you feel like you are on a different page from the rest of the world. You always feel as if your life is a monotone, something you are living just because. And you just can’t seem to find happiness, with or without people. You feel lonely. If you have felt, and if you feel this way, then my friend, you have forgotten how to love yourself.

When you stop loving yourself, you lose touch with your inner self. If you are not in touch with your own self, it becomes hard to be in touch with the rest of the world. I mean, when you don’t know yourself, how can you expect to be known by someone else?

What is self-love?

Self-love is, well, to love yourself. When you treat yourself just like you would someone you truly love, that’s self-love. You appreciate yourself, you pamper yourself, take care of yourself, and make yourself a priority.

Imagine being a different person (physically) from yourself. You have to love this person just like you love someone else. It sounds easy in theory, yet people often overlook loving themselves.

Why is self-love important?

You are the most important person in your life. So if you don’t love yourself, you will never be able to wholeheartedly love someone else. When you are friends with other people, or when you love other people, you radiate positive energy. This energy is what draws them to you. But where does this energy come from? Your inner self. And you are the one who produces this energy. If you don’t take care of yourself, and if you are not aware of your own likes and dislikes, how will you radiate this energy?

Being in touch with yourself is paramount for happiness. You need to learn about your likes and dislikes, you need to learn how to make yourself happy first. Only then can you expect to be happy around others.

How to practice self-love?

Here are a few ways you can show yourself some love and get in touch with your lost inner self:

Talk to yourself lovingly

Practice positive self-talk. Don’t ever underestimate or berate yourself, even if you have made a grave mistake. Instead of saying, “I am not good at __”, say, “I may not be good at this, but no one can be better than me at __”. Compliment yourself often. When people give you compliments, accept them graciously instead of telling them they are wrong. Learn to recognize your strengths and the admirable qualities in you, however small they are. And once you have done that, shower yourself with praise for those qualities.

Pamper yourself

You know how you like to pamper and spoil someone you love? Be that person. Go to a nice restaurant and order something gourmet. Treat yourself to a spa treatment, or a full body massage. Bake something nice for yourself. Go shopping and buy something you really want. All of these are ways to pamper yourself and make yourself feel loved, by yourself.

Feel beautiful

You don’t need to look like a model to feel beautiful. All you need is to look at yourself in the mirror and ignore your imperfections. Focus on your assets instead, and tell yourself how beautiful you are. Once you gain enough confidence in your own verdict, what others think about you won’t matter.

Eat foods that nourish your body and make it feel good. Exercise a little every day to make your skin glow. Wear clothes that make you feel beautiful. Be beautiful for yourself, not for others.

Travel alone

Traveling alone is one of the best things you can do, not just for self-love, but also for personality development. When you travel alone, there is a sense of liberation, an independence you will never feel otherwise. This independence will make you trust yourself more, and learn how to live on your own terms. It is one of the best ways to discover yourself, know your limits and surpass them too. So do make sure to go on a self-discovery trip alone, just like Kangana Ranaut did in the movie “Queen”.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Nobody is perfect. Everybody has their shortcomings, and their own talents and assets. And everybody is unique. No two people are ever alike. So if you start comparing yourself to others, you will never learn how to appreciate your assets. You will always feel as if you lack something.

Everybody has something that you don’t have. However, it is important to always remember that they may not have something that you have. Focus on this second sentence, and stop comparing your life, and yourself, to others. Because you are you and they are they.  

Let go of past regrets

Holding on to the negatives in your past can be detrimental for your happiness. Learn to forgive yourself and others, and let go. It is especially important for you to let go of any regrets about yourself. Don’t hold on to any regrets.

Practice gratitude for all the positives in your life, and unclutter it of all regrets, all bad memories, and negative thoughts. As long as there is a place for negativity in your life, you can never truly love yourself, or be happy. Forgive yourself, move on, and make room for new happy memories and experiences.

Be around supportive people

Your personality and your life is a mix of your own energy and the energy of the people around you. When you surround yourself with toxic, negative people, your own energy reserves start to deplete. So you should be surrounded by people who will have a positive effect on you. These people will always support you, appreciate you, uplift you and help you be a better person.

Eliminate any negative presence from your life. No one who puts you down or makes you unhappy should be allowed a place in your life. Do away with them, and only keep those people close who truly appreciate you for who you are.

Listen to your heart, not others

You are your own person, with your own desires, aspirations, and limitations. No one should be telling you what to do and what not to. Always trust yourself, and your own verdict about right and wrong. Just because others think something is wrong, don’t stop yourself from doing it. Learn to have your own exclusive opinions, and make your own choices uninfluenced by anyone else. This will empower you and is also a great way to practice self-love.

To love others, you need to first love yourself. Also, to be loved by others too, you need to first love yourself. You should be at the top of your list of priorities so that you make others happy too. Always strive to be a better version of yourself, but also love yourself for who you are, unconditionally and irrevocably.