Though it was years ago, the memory still remains fresh. The First time you felt something really different, something really special; the first time your heart skipped a beat, the first time every cell of your body blushed or the time, the unexplainable urge your body felt when you saw that special someone and the first time your delirium carried you to an entirely different world that you never knew existed. After all these years, you feel you have moved past it, when on one lazy afternoon when you sit back trying to relax; or lie on your bed listening to your favourite song from the past ; or when you least expect; it bounces back and flashes across your mind vividly like it was just yesterday when you fell in love for the first time.That’s when you realize that their presence have been lingering on somewhere in your’s mind all this while
After all these years, you feel you have moved past it, when on one lazy afternoon when you sit back trying to relax; or lie on your bed listening to your favourite song from the past ; or when you least expect; it bounces back and flashes across your mind vividly like it was just yesterday when you fell in love for the first time.That’s when you realize that their presence have been lingering on somewhere in your’s mind all this while.
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Only a few are lucky to have a successful first love.But in most of the cases, it is buried. Buried alive under the pressure of time, society and relations. They remain alive in some corner of our heart with their presence lingering on in our mind all the time. Unlike all the relationships that came after, with this one, the past can’t seem to stay in the past. They tend to have some power some control over us forever.
The major reason why we never get over the first love is due to its intensity. We just happened to fall in love the first time, the excitement, the madness has no bounds. We are not aware of the things happening to us or the things that we actually are doing. Everything unfolds slowly and spontaneously; every next step is a surprise. First love always is innocent, carefree, selfless, silly, wild, unrealistic; and it also is a treasure of all the firsts of your life.
When the first love is lost a part of you is lost forever. A permanent void is created in your heart which in your later life forces you to think about what if the things hadn’t ended, what if we could have stayed together forever; each time the mind thinks of all this the heart sinks.
Later a longing to feel the same develops and we start “searching” for love. Thus the essence of falling in love is lost, and even after finding one we always tend to compare it with the first one. There are expectations, the spontaneity is lost. We start weighing and judging peoples, emotion, and relation. The first love has changed you forever.
No matter what you tell yourself, what you try to make of it, it will always be ‘the first love’. You always thought it would work out, but it didn’t. You always thought they were the one and you’ll probably never get over the fact that it still didn’t worked out. It’ll always haunt you. You’d eventually move on with life, but seeing them with someone else will never feel right. The ‘what if’ will always haunt.
So let that first love occupy that special corner in the bottom of your heart and play the magic trick of making you blush on hearing its name or while you cherish the memory even in your old age.