A Loving Heart Never Stops

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    Cliff stared at the ceiling, eyes all blank and mind devoid of any thoughts. It has been years since he came to know that both of his ventricles stopped to function properly and severe heart failure was present. In simpler terms, he was suffering from congenital heart disease, he had irreversible heart failure. Heart transplant was the only way out but the whole procedure was taking longer than necessary, and every passing minute was drawing him near to his end, or so he thought.

    Privileged to belong to an elite class came with many pros and cons. Pros being he received the very best of treatment and the cons being his fair-weather friends vanished no sooner did they see the bitter side of Cliff surface. Earlier, Cliff was full of adventure and life, he was an explorer, a wanderer, someone who lived every minute of his life, that too, to the fullest. But now the same livewire was restricted to the four walls of his room. He had lost all humor and charm, the loneliness and frustration was taking a toll on his nerve. Slowly and steadily, he was turning into a recluse. Worst part was his girlfriend was seeing his best friend. His behavior was typical of an uncooperative patient. Most of the time, Cliff was bitter, hurtful and sarcastic.

    Just like any other day, today too, he was in an extremely sour mood due to sheer frustration. Staring outside the window, looking at the same grey clouds hovering in a dull blue sky. Gloom lingered everywhere, clock ticked by in its natural pace and with each tick of the hands of the clock, his heart drew an inch near its end. Someone knocked at the door, “May I come in?” It was said in a melodious sing song voice. “Go away!” Cliff roared, “I will only take a minute Sir,” the voice pleaded.

    Frustrated, he retired, “Okay, come in.” Slowly the door creaked and entered a fragile looking, bright faced girl. She was wearing a pair of blue faded jeans and worn out black top. Stretching out her hands, “Hi! I am Anya,” he shrugged her hands away like an unwanted fly. Undeterred by his insolent gesture, Anya continued, “I am a member of an organization called, “Fairy Godmother,” here the volunteers visit hospitals, old age homes, AA institutes, rehabilitation centers, sanatorium and similar such places where the people feel alone and left out. Our task is to sit with the patients and help them speak their hearts out.” Cliff guffawed bitterly, “You mean to say, you visit the terminally ill patients and promise them a long healthy life?!!” He continued, “How do you manage to do that, do you just wave your bloody magic wand and whoosh!! All the pain just vanishes?”

    “Bullshit!” He scoffed in disgust. Looking deeply in her eyes, Cliff drawled, “Your one minute is over,” “Get lost!” He barked. Tearfully Anya ran out of his room. Angrily, he punched the bed.

    Next day was no different than the previous one. Cliff continued to look outside the window in the same vague manner. Someone knocked at his door, once again the feeble voice of Anya echoed, “Cliff.” Tired, he took a deep sigh and asked her to come in. Hesitant, Anya stepped in, she stood at his feet and said, “I will not take much of your time, recently, I got a book of mine published, I have been distributing it to everyone here, it’s a collection of poetries, here is your copy.” She fumbled inside her handbag and took a thin paperback and handed it out to him. The cover read, “Scattered Stars – Book of Poems.”

    Taking the book from her, he uttered a suppressed “Thanks.” As Anya turned around to leave, he blurted, “Hey! Forget about yesterday, I was really mean and harsh.” She turned back and smiled, the smile took his breath away, it was the most beautiful and sincere smile he had ever seen, her crooked tooth flashed with a deep dimple as she smiled and stars danced in her eyes. He felt drawn to her, taken over by a trance like state, he motioned her to sit and she sat on a chair next to his bed.

    The conversation started as to what she does and soon drifted to hobbies and interests. Anya was as introvert as he was adventurous. She only lived adventures in books and movies while he was all that she could only hope for. Surprisingly enough, Cliff felt himself melting in her company, she was a bundle of creative energy and was full of ideas on how to kill loneliness and enjoy one’s company. Soon, it was time for her to leave, Cliff looked forlorn, sensing his dejection, she promised to arrive early the next day.

    No sooner did she leave, he took out her book and opened a random poem….

    I Hate You Like Hell

    I hate you when you look at me

    Hate the way you smile

    Hate you more when you call my name

    Hate you when you go away

    Why do you make my voice shake?

    Why do you always hold me before I could break?

    Why O why you make me tremble and shiver?

    Every time you come close

    Why do my lips quiver and heart flutter?

    I hate the truthful, honest and loving you

    Haven’t seen anyone ever, half as good as you

    I hate the way you love me

    Hate the way I am being hypnotized

    I hate myself all the more

    For I can’t stay away from you even for a while

    I have lost myself in you my love

    Do you know a way out?

    Be with me forever you fool

    Without you, I can barely survive

    I hate you, hate you, hate you so more

    I love to hate you

    This hate will be the end of me

    This is my crazy crooked twisted confession

    Be smart enough to realize the truth that lies beneath

    A smile flickered across his face as he scanned her weird, twisted yet sincere love poem.

    Soon the two started to spend more and more time together. He felt drawn to this innocent, gullible and humane creature. He shared his stories of adventures, pranks and adversities with her. She laughed at his silly jokes, listened intently to his ideas about science and universe, and shared her views regarding humanity, society and utopia. It was during one such fateful day, she asked him about his wish.

    Cliff looked out vaguely and stated, “Earlier, I wanted to live but now I want to love, I want to know what love is, I want to feel how it feels, I want to lose myself in someone, I want to live, loving someone.” He was taken aback by her sobs, she held his hands and sobbed uncontrollably and before he could realize, she moved from her chair and kissed him. The kiss made him feel alive, rejuvenated, wanted and LOVED!!!

    She smiled a tearful smile, “Cliff, I will not stand next to you but I promise you I will always be with you, I will reside in you till your last breath, I will always love you, I will love you as long as you stay.” She took out a paper from her bag and handed it out to him and said, “This was written on the very first day I met you, you captivated me with your unconventional roguish charm.” He read….

    Closest of All

    Butterflies in my stomach

    When he flashes that precious smile

    Feel like hearing him all day long

    His voice is my favorite love song

    Can’t look into those deep dark eyes

    They make me swoon; they get me hypnotized

    Dying to get a touch of my man

    Can give up my eternity, O yes I can

    Moody, roguish, brattish and rude

    Temperamental he is, intense and obtuse

    Every time I feel, I have understood this guy

    Proves me wrong, confirms, I can never be right

    No sleep

    No patience

    No solitude

    No grief

    Burning with fiery passion

    The flames of his love surrounds me

    What doesn’t kill you

    Only sets you free

    His fire doesn’t burn me

    It has eternalised me as a being

    This being is no more but a reflection of him

    Wherever I go, I carry his entity within

    Feel his presence closer than closest thing

    My heartbeat, my pulse, my breathing and lifeline

    He gifted me his soul, I gave him mine

    Connected we are and will remain so forever

    Addicted I am, those eyes are my wine

    Cliff stretched out his arms and Anya lost herself in his warm embrace. She then whispered in his ears, “Your wish has been granted!”

    The next day, doctors gave him the news he had been desperately longing for, they had got the donor.

    Three Years Later….

    “I hate you Anya, I hate you the most,” Cliff uttered as he stood at a grave. Anya rested somewhere beneath that ground. Cliff continued, “I have been coming here regularly since last three years without fail and I would continue to do so till my last breath. You are not a fairy godmother of mine but a wicked witch who has inflicted the biggest curse upon me. I will come here every day and tell you how I hate you and would continue to do so as long as this bloody heart beats.” No sooner did he say this, he collapsed on the ground and pleaded, “Why O why Anya? Why did you have to do this? This is not the kind of life I wished for. I am alive because of your heart, this heart reminds me with every beat how much you loved me and what a great loser I am.” Wiping away his tears, he continued, “Fairy Godmother” is one of the most popular humanitarian organizations of the world. I work continuously to make all of your dreams come true, I have to work, I have to live, I have to suffer and I have to miss you with every heartbeat. How I long to meet you every day but I know for sure, I will not meet you soon enough because I am living with your heart, this heart which is being filled with your love, and a loving heart never stops!”

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    Professional content writer, experienced proofreader/ editor and a published author. Has done M.A in English, voracious reader, an avid writer and a deep thinker. Interacts with her readers on a regular basis. Plans to publish a book of short stories in near future. Her first published book of poems named Scattered Stars is available on Amazon and other bookstores.

    3 COMMENTS

    1. First of all I would like to say excellent blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I have had a tough time clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out there. I truly do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips? Thank you!

      • Thanks a lot for your kind words. To start your piece, you just need to delve head on, start with writing whatever that comes to your mind. The mantra is to JUST WRITE!!! Soon you would see the characters and plot develop automatically.

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