A relationship is a bond which is solely based on trust and the love you get from your partner. It does not depend on how much time you give your partner or how much you are actually spending on them. It all goes down to the love and the emotional bond you both have between each other which makes you so special for each other.
Now imagine being in a relationship where there is verbal abuse, your partner ignoring you for a long time or even excluding you from the decisions they make for each other. Is staying in that relationship a right thing to do? My advice is to get out of that toxic relationship as fast as you can. It is better to be alone than staying in the same room with an abusive partner who never trusts you. Being aware of the effects of a dysfunctional relationship is a long-term effect. It produces a counter on your own life and as well as hampers your other relationships as well.
A bad relationship is a one where you don’t find happiness while staying with that person. He might be using you just to get his ways or that he is lonely and doesn’t want to lose you. You are like a sticker he is putting on his head which will eventually wear down and no one will ever notice. A healthy relationship is built on utmost respect for each other and a proper admiration and trust. Toxic relationships can prevent you from being happy and have an own personal life for yourself. There is a number of couples who have reported to be in a toxic relationship which has completely destroyed themselves.
To exclude any guy who will try to demean you, here are the 10 signs you can look out for once you get into a relationship. These signs also show that he is not the one you are hoping him to be.
1. He stresses you out a lot and never gives you a chance to clarify
Now imagine being in a relationship and being completely stressed about that. This is a funny thing since relationships are meant to bring the best out of someone. If you are with a guy who is always stressing you out then is it really worth all your efforts? According to studies it has been proven that girls who tend to stress a lot around their partners are more likely to build a low self-esteem for themselves.
Be in a relationship which is fun and loving. Be with a guy who brings out the best in you and completely relieves you from your day’s stress. If you are with someone with whom you are measuring all your words and choosing them correctly as in how to speak, then you are probably in a very bad relationship.
2. You want him to change for his habits
If you are finding yourself to like him forcefully then he is definitely not the one for you. If you love someone then you accept them for who they are. For example, if a guy loves you then he will definitely accept your frizzy haircut or the small pimples you have on your face. It all depends on how we look at each other.
This is applicable to both the girl and the boy. If anyone wants their partner to change habits or their way of speaking to others or whatever, then that person is really not the one.
3. He blames you for everything you do and everything you don’t
The classic blame game which goes around a couple can destroy even the strongest of bonds. If he is constantly blaming you for the things you haven’t even done then why are you still with him? You need to rethink your life choices once he starts behaving like an ill-mannered authority.
You are your own boss and the things you rely on makes your identity. If he is constantly putting the blame on you then he will never trust you even with the smallest of things around. Be it a guy-friend or just a normal co-worker, he will pinpoint on every human being you roam and talk to.
4. He tries to rush things into the relationship and tries to hurry a lot
When a guy comes at you, all hot and heavy for attention than he may be just there for the physical love and not the emotional bond that you want. If you see a guy rushing things in your relationship then stop him and clearly say him no. See if his expression changes and he frowns or not.
The natural process of a relationship depends on both the partner’s consent towards rushing things. Sure the beginning of any relationship is fun and filled with adventures but what happens at the middle is nothing you really need to expect. Remember, it is okay to slow things down if you two are into each other. Otherwise just dump him!
5. He never hears your opinions or respects your matters and choices
To put things forward into a constructive relationship, it is important for your partner to hear and accept your views as well. If he is constantly ignoring your ideas and your gestures then he is doing it all wrong. According to relationship specialists, it has been proven that guys who have more ego and self-actualization issues are likely to build an alpha male persona around their female counterparts.
Firstly, he will never listen or appreciate your effort you put into the relationship. Secondly, he will just do things which he finds is correct for you both. If you point out these two things in your relationship then it is high time that you should end it.
6. He never shares things
It is okay to keep a personal space between both of you but being extra hidey is not appreciable in any form and nature. If you are interested in a man then you should make efforts to know him and understand what he likes and loves. But if he plays the game of taking away all your choices and never giving you the benefit of doubt then it’s a tough nut to crack.
Many times people are hidey due to their past experiences and how they will often react to certain things. If he is in a relationship with you then there is mutual love and respect for each other so there is absolutely no reason to hide facts and information about himself.
7. He undermines your worth
Usually, there are two signs through which he can treat you like a crap in your relationship.
- He values his own choices.
- He never values you and your love.
If he is a completely lazy guy and doesn’t even value himself then you are wasting your precious time with him. And if he values himself but never sees your worth then it is time to leave for his own sake.
8. You are always trying to do things for him
If your man is a sloth and just lying at your couch all day then ladies, leave him immediately. Because this parasite will haunt you for the rest of lives. If your man is not making any effort to keep you happy in your relationship then your man doesn’t know how to respect a woman.
You may love him and you are always bringing random gifts from work and even kissing him goodnight kisses then you are just the one who is putting all the effort into your futile relationship. This is also a way of him telling you that you are nothing more than a rag doll for him who just keeps him away when he is in need of love and attention.
9. He hasn’t informed his friends about you yet
This is a classic pointer to check if you are in a bad relationship or not. If he hasn’t told his friends about you yet then you are likely to be ghosted within a few days or so. You always know that the best way to win a man’s heart is through knowing his friends and bonding with them. Plus, if your friends don’t like him as well then he is definitely not the one!
10. You often cry for him
Now when you were small, you were told that a princess never sheds tears for a man but here you are, crying for a man who has never loved you. Don’t ever cry for a futile man who will never care for the way you are. If you are seeing yourself practically shedding tears for each and everything he does and makes you do then just leave this relationship and start being happy for your own.
If your gut knows that he is not the one then you should definitely believe your gut and go for it. Sometimes what he really feel is what is really there.