A Relationship in the recent times has been more complex than it might seem from the outside. We share special bonds, special moments and special memories with a few people in our lives. We meet most of the people unexpectedly, who become a major part of our lives.
However, not everything lasts forever. With some bonds, at the end of the day, all that remains are heartbreaks and memories. We regret the decisions we made, our attitude towards them or even our mistakes when we look back.
Building a relationship that lasts is tougher than it sounds. It takes dedication from both ends to keep the things flowing for a long time. To accept mistakes, to feel valuable and to be ready to suffer along with them.
Mistakes we often commit in a relationship
A relationship isn’t a perfect bond that gets hand into you overnight. People who decide to share their time together eventually make a bond what it is. It doesn’t need to the most perfect thing in the world, it’s just supposed to make you happy. One strives so hard to hold on and make things flawless, but mistakes are inevitable.
Overlapping mistakes makes the relationships more complicated eventually. However, it is impossible to avoid mistakes in a longer run. We need to learn from our mistakes and move on in the longer run. Here are some mistakes we often commit in any relationship and we have to learn how to minimize them.
Too many expectations spoil a relationship. If you expect too much from a person that you share the bond with, it is not going to end well. Expectations can always exceed the limitations of the opposite person. If you are expecting something from your friends, partner or family which is more than their 100%, you are disappointed in the end. These things always cause a lot of relationships to fall apart and bonds to break.
Losing Self Respect
When we get into a bond with a person, things we do are hardly noticeable. We lose ourselves in the bond more than we want. Losing self-respect is one of the major mistakes one commits in a bond. The two or more people come closer to share their time and happiness. However, at the end of the day they are two different individuals and two different personalities. Put in your best efforts for the other person, but put in better for yourselves.
Lack of Trust
Even after getting into a relationship willingly, one lacks trust at times. It becomes difficult to hold the bond intact without any trust. If you don’t trust the other person, either build it or get out of the bond. Trust is the primary necessity to maintain good relations with your partner. The mistake is more common in the recent times which ultimately leads to heartbreaks.
Lashing out with Anger and Irritation
Things might be falling apart, days might be tough, mind might be upset, happens to everyone, Right? But that doesn’t mean we can take it out on anyone else. Lashing out with anger on your friends, partner or family is a key stone in distancing them from us. We tend to get frustrated on someone so close to us because it seems easier than being mad at the actual reason. Nonetheless, we forget that it can ultimately affect the connection and the thing originally bugging you remains the same until we deal with it.
How to Keep them Intact?
We often experience difficulty in maintaining a relationship healthy. It is safe to say that in the recent times, it has become one of the most prominent reasons of mental illness. Not being able to decide whether to hold on to let go has put the youth on the verge of breakdown. Our generation shares an obsession with anxieties and heartbreaks. As a result, we find it easier to let things go and suffer later rather than making things better. A toxic relation with friends, family members, partners is meant to be given up. However, this fact doesn’t justify that every bond you share has to be toxic.
It is true that we have to learn how to live individually. Co-dependency is a major factor that leads us towards expectations. Nonetheless, what we expect and what we receive are two different things. “Shoot for the stars, you’ll reach the moon” they say, but will reaching the moon make you happy? Think about it. Metaphorically, sometimes the efforts don’t seem adequate for what we anticipate and this creates a negative impact on the bond.
However, there’s nothing you can’t keep if you work for it. Be it your friends, your acquaintance, good relations with family or your partners Here are some tips for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Efficient Flow of Communication
There is nothing an efficient flow of communication cannot fix. Talking things out with the people might seem tough but can be useful to resolve issues. Effective communication can help two people to eliminate the differences. Talk more frequently, talk about your fears, ambitions, insecurities. Talking out not only helps in resolving issues more peacefully but also talking about a point beforehand, gives an idea to the person about your characteristics and your limits. It gives an idea about your opinion, point of view or limitations to the opposite person which keeps the relation alright.
Honesty is the building foundation among any two or more people. Be truthful about your feelings and emotions if something is affecting you. Tell your partner the truth before getting into a relationship if it a serious relationship or just a casual fling you’re looking for. You’ve put out what is it that you actually want or feel no matter how hard it may seem. The other person will try to understand the situation eventually to keep the bond healthy.
Communication is always a two-way street. Speaking out the issues and being truthful might be very beneficial, but without mutual understanding, they’re pointless. Listening is an essential part of maintaining a bond correctly. Understanding what the other person has to say plays a huge part in resolving conflicts. Being empathetic towards other person’s feelings lets you handle the situation in a subtle way.
Respect is a give and take process as we know. It is very important to be respectful to the people we love. Be respectful to their decisions, try to talk calmly if you don’t like their decisions. Show them that you respect things about them. This helps a bond to remain stable and subtle.
Have Less Expectations!
This is one of the most important things to keep in mind to keep a bond intact. Movies have set us up with unrealistic expectations over the years. Despite what mental picture we might have, bringing the moon to your feet our building another Taj Mahal is just a myth. Expecting something from your partner or friend puts them in a moral obligation to reach there for making you happy. However, if one can’t deliver more than 100% efforts. So, no matter how hard they try, you can’t be happy until you receive what you ultimately expect. Having least expectations lets you be surprised and feel loved. It keeps a relationship healthy and unexpected twists and twirls along the journey lets you be happier.
I’m not sure what you must heard from anyone who is trying to impress you but unconditionality is non-existent. Make efforts for the people you love if you care about the bond. Attempts to make them happy shows how much you care about the person or the relation. Being delusional about unconditional love can result in taking the people in your life for granted. Taking people for granted can cause a permanent damage to the relationship at a long-term perspective.
Know when you are needed and when you are not
One thing to keep in mind is that you might not always be needed and you have to be okay with that fact. Sometimes, things can get pretty tough for any person. We go through hardships, stress, anxiety etc. However, this doesn’t mean you are ALWAYS needed to set things straight. Understand when you are needed and when you are not. Give the person their time to deal with things on their own. Give them space and the alone time they need to deal with themselves. You might be making things worse, who knows?
Trust is the foundation of any friendship, Right? It is the major factor affecting all the other problems in a relationship. When two people come closer, it is because of the continuously building trust that binds them. Have that trust on your friend or partner. Keep faith for the time you share with them and that time could turn into an eternity. Trusting each other can let you keep your relation healthy.