There are two types of people in this world. Ones, who like to think out loud,others, who prefer to process the world internally, answer their own questions, and come to a conclusion before speaking up. All my life I’ve been an inwardly directed person. This personality trait has benefits and drawbacks. On the positive side, it’s a source of strength as a writer .Without it I wouldn’t have taken an interest in books. On the downside, my tendency to keep everything inside is responsible for one of my major weaknesses-shyness.
Shyness is rooted in fear-an irrational fear of speaking up and being humiliated or ignored. Why are some people so afraid of speaking out? In my opinion the main causes are oversensitivity and insecurity .When you associate speaking out with pain and embarrassment, you’ll do almost anything to avoid it. Unfortunately, shyness is an enormous detriment to success.
It’s Not You It’s Them
For naturally quiet people, the fear of speaking can arise from a few bad experiences, especially at an early age. The way someone reacts to something you say usually has nothing to do with you-it’s more likely a reflection of the mood they’re in or a recent event in their life.
A key to overcoming shyness is recognizing these perceived slights for what they are-meaningless. When someone reacts to you negatively, don’t take it personally. Imagine the other person’s perspective. Considering the perspective of the other person makes it easier to put their reaction in the proper context.
It’s also essential to let go of bad experiences. When you dwell on a bad experience, it grows into something much more frightening than reality. The more you think about a bad experience the more power you give it. Don’t blame yourself. The more you can fill your mind with positive memories of speaking up the easier it gets.
Other People Aren’t So Different
Another important step in overcoming shyness is realizing that other people are basically the same as you. Everyone is insecure and afraid of embarrassment. People are friendly and interested in connecting with others. They’ll respond favourably to your attempts at communicating.
The second cause of shyness is insecurity .If you don’t think you have anything to contribute, what’s the point of risking embarrassment?
Do not watch yourselves with other people’s eyes, you are not them! You are YOU!!
To get over this you need to recognize the merit of your own thoughts and the value they present to others. To reach your potential, you need to share yourself with the world. Your brilliant thoughts don’t hold any value until they’ve enlightened someone else.
The best way to get accustomed to sharing is practice .Force yourself to speak up. Sit in the room and make yourself visible. Once you get used to opening up, you’ll notice how positively people react. This will build your self confidence and faith in the goodwill of others. Try to push your limits bit by bit. Go to more public places and try to slowly get more and more accustomed.
When you have a thought or idea that deserves to be heard, you’re not only hurting yourself by keeping quiet, you’re hurting the people around you. Other people need you. They need your insight to work through problems .By hiding behind shyness; you limit the help you can give to your friends, family members and society. By overcoming shyness, you give yourself the chance to be recognized and promoted. You create opportunities and open yourself up to forming meaningful relationships.
Don’t keep your talent inside, share at every opportunity so it can grow and flourish.
Be proud of who you are and show people you are confident and have loads to offer.