My friend’s wedding

My friend’s wedding my nightmare begin

One call from my friend, that brought happiness and nightmares hand in hand. “Riyaaaaaa….I’m getting married,” her voice was so loud that I could have heard her shout directly from her house which was almost two kilometres away from my place. Anyway let us not concentrate on the speed transmission of her voice.

I knew what would be mummy’s reaction when I went to give her this news. “Good, at least your friends are obedient to their parents, but in my case I can just pray to the Lord.”

Yes this is my mother, who wants me to get married like tomorrow, if given chance. You see how parents dread those situations when all the girls of their daughter’s age are married or getting married. There is nothing different in my story, only here I’m more stubborn (sarcastic).

The very next day, when I was least prepared I was getting cladded in mummy’s lemon colour sari. I was happy to wear it as it was one of my favourites from her wardrobe, but not so happy to know the reason behind it. I know you all must have already guessed this, I was being fed with some instructions that I should be polite and open my mouth only when I’m asked for, that the one who is coming to meet me is nothing less than the most eligible bachelor and blah. After an hour or so, finally the bell rang, as I was going to open the door, my mother pulled me back with a jerk. “Are completely insane, you should not open the door, you should walk in like a regal princess when we call you,” saying this she went to open the door but not before making sure that her drama queen was already inside the room. After some formal greetings and discussing about the bad climate and never ending traffic, I was called. Thankfully it was nothing like, “Beta thodasa chalkar batana.”

As I came out, I lost the only zero percent interest I had, now going down to minus. He looked like a nerd who had just finished the last chapter of integration and derivatives. “Are beta you both feel free to talk, if you want take him to the balcony not that we mind.”

Meanwhile, in the balcony, we sat around the small terrace garden of my house. May be he was not sure what to say, but when he opened his mouth that was the last time I heard him. “Hello maam, myself Mr Rajan Gupta.” What was that…what ma’am, did I heard him right, what he is here for…a job interview. I knew the next few minutes I will just observe the beauty of my dead rose sapling that I had planted a few months back. Rejected.

He was a topper from IIT Delhi, how can you plainly reject him without giving a second thought, he had also got full marks in mathematics in his matric year beta,” mummy looked more hurt than that perspective groom’s parents. “Mummy I want a life partner and not a maths tutor, stop fretting like this” being born sarcastic I could never seal my big mouth.

Few days later, as I was wondering how my mother gave up this groom hunt another blow came my way. “Open this laptop of yours, I will show you the best thing this technology has created,” I was not really prepared but I knew something was not right, yeh toofan ke pehle ki shanti thi. “Okay now click on this site yes, now you will see how upgraded your mother is.”

banner1I saw a close up picture of mine, on the corner of my laptop screen and other typical details like height, weight, and colour shade and in the end my hobbies and qualification. She had created my account in some damn matrimonial site, now this was the last thing I had expected. “See this generation wants to be in the virtual world no, that is why always busy on Facebook and Whatsapp, so here it is…look chat and select.” My meh face said it all.

As I was about to close this preposterous site, a message popped up in my chat box, well what is the harm in chatting, it is not like I will be married off tomorrow…okay if my mum wants then even that can happen.

Rohan Sarin: Hey hii…Rohan here.

Riya Sharma: Hi

After these initial greetings, he went on and on about his qualifications and likes and dislikes in between asking me the same. I was not really bored but still he was not that interesting.

Me: Okay Rohan you see, whatever you told me that is already mentioned in your profile, tell me something that I don’t know about you or not written in your profile.

He: Well I’m an open book. Winks.

Me:  Too bad because I hate reading.

The sarcastic bone of my body was trying to stand now, making me the most brutal person on the earth.

He: Oh I see, anyway can I ask you something? Why have you put up this close up photo as your display picture? You should have kept some full length picture.

Me: Now how does that matter, and anyway this picture is kept by my mummy.

He: Of course it matters a lot. Many pretty faces wear the double XL clothes, I want someone who wears S or even M is fine by me.

Dude, you would have had it from me if you had said this thing on my face, but now I didn’t wanted to break my laptop screen.

Me: First of all this is not a boutique and secondly it is not your fault, all dogs like bones.

He: Excuse me!

Me: No don’t just excuse yourself also please GET LOST!

Rejected, not only the boy but this whole idea of matrimonial site. I tried to make my mummy understand that things will happen when they are destined to, you can’t simply rush to it. I know being a mother she wanted to see her daughter as a bride…married…happily settled in her life. I assured her it will happen one day for sure. Looking at her expression, I knew she was not completely happy but I think she gave up to some extinct only till my phone rang again and yes, it did just the very next day. The screen flashed Tanu’s name, my childhood friend.

“Riya, ‘m getting married.” All I could say was, “Oh shit, not again.”


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