12 things women in India are tired of hearing!

If you are brought up in India, as woman you keep apologizing for random things even when you don’t need to. According to a survey, women tend to use ‘sorry’ more than men, because you are a ‘Sabhya Bhaartiya Naari’. And the rules for women are different as compared to men.  Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to know why there are different rules for girls and boys. But I never received an answer to it.


And just to keep you in the loop, there are number of things that women are tired of listening.

  • “Women should come home early” (Deadlines) – Women and girls are tired of listening to be at home before its dark. Some are also given deadlines to come home before it is 9 pm. Six out of ten families have set deadlines for their female members, so they don’t stay out till late.


  • “Don’t go to the temple, don’t touch the holy book” (Menstrual taboos) – These are the most common lines that we are tired of listening every now and then. I always asked my mother why is that we are not allowed to go to the temple, touch the holy books or the jar of pickles. But I never received a valid answer to my question.

Hanna Barczyk for NPR

  • “No one will marry you, if you don’t make round ROTIS” – I don’t know, who brought in this term called ‘round rotis’. Why is it necessary for the roti to be round? And who got this nonsense logic into the brains of our India moms, that if the roti is not round no one would marry a girl?


  • “No one will marry you, because of your skin tone” – Indian moms’ logic number 2: No one will marry you if you are dark.


  • “Ohh! Being a girl you can drive? I am surprised to know that” – Most men are stunned when they see a woman driving car or riding a bike, why? For all those men, who think women can’t drive let me tell you that you have been raised WRONG!! Judging women without knowing their capabilities is not cool at all.


  • “You are a woman, drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes is bad for your health” – All the girls and women reading this, you shouldn’t drink or smoke because it is bad for your health, while it won’t cause any harm to the male gender. Right? And then we talk about gender equality!


  • “You should take care of the child, now you are a mother” – Is it just the mother’s duty to take care of the child? Women are tired of listening to these statements.

Mother Taking Care of Sick Daughter --- Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

  • “Stop hanging around men, instead you should have more of female friends” – It is okay for men to hang around women but, women are not supposed to hang around men. One man hanging around with three women is a ‘stud’, while one woman hanging around with three men is a ‘sl*t’. Why?


  • “Being a woman, you should always speak politely no matter what” – A woman is expected to talk politely at all times. If a woman yells, screams at someone she is considered to be manner less. While on the other hand if men shout and yell it’s absolutely fine!


  • “OMG!! You are 35 and still not married” – I have no clue what have others got to do, if a woman is happy being single and enjoying her life on her own terms. Age is just a number, if she wants to get married at 30, 35 or 40 it is completely her choice.


  • “They don’t have kids, there might be some problem with her” – Let me make it loud and clear that, it is not always the women who are unable to conceive, men also face problems like – infertility.


  • “Marry this guy, he has a good job and earns well.. He’s perfect for you” – With all due respect to the elders who are worried for their daughters and want them to be happy. The boy’s good job won’t make her happy unless she loves him. Instead educate your daughter and motivate her towards leading an independent life. Why should your daughter be dependent on someone else?


There are more to add to the list. It is high time you stop saying these things to your daughter, sister or wife. We need to break free from stereotypes and discrimination. For all the women, we need to take a pride in being a woman.

Riya Naskar
Riya Naskar
If a story is in you, it has to come out.

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