I was born in a nation where what people say is more important than what you believe. I was born in a nation where you are brought up to believe in what the society wants you to believe in.
I was born with a million thoughts. Started dressing myself in hope as years went by. I had no control on my thoughts but they were crushed down. A realization dawned upon me that nobody cares about what I feel or what I think. That there were certain pre-existing and established rules that I was supposed to follow and not rebel against it. With every imposition, I asked “why?” I was told how God made women subservient to men. How you have to submit to all the male members in your life. How I’m incapable of protecting myself because God made me weak. How God doesn’t want me to visit him in the temples when I’m menstruating because I’m dirty during that period. I was taught early in my life that I have to marry somebody someday because apparently, marriage is a God given legacy too. I was asked to be devoted to my future husband like Sita was to Lord Ram. The way I need to submit to my potential husband even if he is devoid of virtues or seeks pleasure somewhere else, as stated in the Manu Smriti. I was supposed to be virtuous while my husband had the liberty to do whatever he felt like doing because he was lucky to have been born as a male and it was my ill fate that I was born as a girl.
But the question that was crucial to me was,”why?” I was born to defy all the norms that were imposed on me under the pretext of God’s command. Every instruction made my heart beat on my ribs in indignation.
I couldn’t change the society,as was obvious but I couldn’t let “I dare not” wait upon “I would”. The society turned me into an atheist and I’m ever grateful for that.