To a 13 year old,
I am a 19 year old grandma and I am here to clear some things for you. I know love is in the air and every rumour is a daily invention but hang on as you are about to have a roller coaster ride. With your hormones juggling and identity at stake you can still save yourself from a lot of trouble. Some things are not as big as you think and some are not that useless. I am soon going to die out from this crazy teenage life so lend your ears (or eyes) to this grandma-
LOVE CAN HAPPEN A MILLION TIMES
Well I cannot blame you for believing in chocolates, greeting cards and teddy bears. All romantic movies have told you about ‘the one’. Every Nicholas Sparks novel have successfully conditioned you to believe that love is something that lifts you up in the air, the first kiss needs to be under some moonlight, a conversation under the twilight sky is the definition of magic. It is true, love is everything. Love is the energy that fuels life and the only feeling chemically facilitated by nature. A person with no love to oneself and others is as good as dead but let me break this out for you- the symphony of ‘I love you’ does not matter if you or the other person does not know how to care and maintain those three words. These three words are very small but can be heavier than a truck! It is full with responsibilities and we are not able to take care of them because we do not know how to handle things with maturity. One learns to be mature when one experiences as he or she grows up. We assume the entire teenage is about finding ‘the one’ and after the eighth boyfriend one realises ‘the one’ does not exist. You can get attracted to many people a million times but it is when you are able to make the choice of maintaining the feeling and responsibilities and if the other person wants to do the same. So, there is no hurry. Take time to know what are the responsibilities needed and be a person that loves life and not just parts of it. Nothing attracts more than a happy person.
YOU ARE DIFFERENT AND DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE DIFFERENT
Knowingly or unknowingly you will ask this question to yourself ‘who am I?’ more than a zillion times and unfortunately many a times you may try to be a person who might just not be ‘you’. I have realized a big thing in my teenage life that the most beautiful thing about us is our uniqueness and it needs to be celebrated. I feel there is this urgency to feel really ‘cool’ about everything at this age. It is funny that being cool is no longer an adjective but a qualification to certify the achievement of the mental image of ‘you’. But who defines ‘cool’? Why can’t we give our own meaning to ‘being cool’? Believe me when I say you are cool when you do what you love and when you love yourself for being you. You can be a boy and you may like make-up, you can be a girl wanting to own a Rolls Royce and you may rock it even if you wear a salwaar kameez to a party. Remember that nothing can beat a confident walk and an honest smile.
NO MATTER WHAT, PARENTS WILL ALWAYS KNOW BETTER THAN YOU
This might sound like a bummer but it is true. Slap me, peel me, cut off my ears but you simply cannot deny it. I am not saying that they are always right. I will unravel the secret for you- they are just too concerned right now because kyunki ma bhi kabhi bachi thi. Trust me even Harry Potter would be too concerned for his child even if he knew his son is brave enough to fight dementors like him. Parents cannot be friends all the time. Come on! Friends do not take the responsibility of feeding you, changing your diapers, getting you educated and evacuate you out of their private parts! They might be friendly but you are their responsibility and of course they will be concerned! Problems arise when there is improper communication not just from your side but from their side as well. You dressing up might mean that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend to them just as their small advice means insult to you. Oh this part is a storm as no party wills to take the first leap of understanding! But there will be calmness and stillness after the storm and there will be a happily ever after. Relax! Time heals everything. Nobody is wrong or right. As you will grow from teens to –tys, they too will graduate from a teen’s mom/dad to a –tys’ mom/dad.
19 year old grandma